30 July,2011,Saturday
Outside the big raindrops hit the window pane and made a thumping sound, inside, I put my wet cheeks to the glass pane; I watched the raindrops over the high tension wire, laughed when I saw the funny-looking wet crows. I also saw the next door toddler putting to the puddles his paper boats, which to say the least made me nostalgic.
From my table where my chemistry book lay I couldn’t resist running to the window, against the glass I put my cheeks. For a few moments I didn’t think of anything and let my mind go blank for a while. The FeS and conc. H2SO4 which were supposed to be the only proud proprietor of all my attention, generously faded to make way for those floating clouds.After having inhaled the clouds for sometime through the glass window I rushed to my bookshelf,frantically searched for ‘her’-for Alice( in wonderland).You wouldn’t have had to push away any slight reluctance before announcing that I was dispossessed of my sanity if you saw me when I said –‘Alice,help me, take me to your wonderland ‘ and then having found it kiss it all over like a mother of a lost child who adores her child’s toys the same way.
The above was an excerpt from my journal. The next part is a bit personal and so I chose not to put it up here for everybody to read.
That day I kept reading Caroll’s creative,liberating piece of amazing literary work and was drifted to that underground wonderland with Alice taking me by my hand, my mind, my soul, my body-liberating me. Just like we have exothermic chemical reactions which liberates heat Alice and her wonderland reacted to give me liberation.The beautiful dream song soon came to a close but left me feeling good.I remember last dancing in the rain five years back when I was ten.That feeling came back,the same desire to run up the stairs to the attic, dance like crazy in the rain.The desire was so strong and my soul so immune to those thoughts that said to it – Don’t waste time, you have a deadline to meet,STUDY; you have to keep ypurself fit and healthy,don’t go in the rain,you’ll catch cold;you are fifteen,no more a child – what about your larger-than-life-dreams that keep you alive? what about your ICSE ? what if people see you dancing that way-what will they think –what will they say?.To all these “inhibitions” my immune soul could only say,”Who cares?”Yes, in the attic I laughed,I cried,I danced and whirled,I ran, I kicked in the air and behaved crazy because I could only say “ who cares!?”. When I looked down at the streets from the top of my house I could see the boys,some of my age and some a little older with their pants rolled up,juggling the football in the muck.After three minutes I found myself there in the street and when the football kissed my nude toes,the feeling to kick it was too overpowering to resist.However,I was ready to initiate the process of contemplation when the Alice inside me kicked the ball with my feet rather forcefully.
There went the ball to touch Ratul’s feet who before kicking it threw a welcome grin at me and tossed away his slippers and the others followed suit.I could feel those awe-struck glances following me,my feet and the football.Those collective ‘ish’s were too loud to be inaudible every time my clothes,my feet,or my hands got muck enveloped.I must say,I enjoyed every moment of it,even those abundant abhorrence nourished glances. A lot of people go in for those feel-good spas to de- stress themselves but the “mucky spa” along with the thumping raindrops’ aqua therapy did me more good than the expensive spas and therapies available at a variety of spa parlours.Though it didn’t leave my skin,my hair looking smooth and silky rather with some bruises, it definitely left me healthy looking and more importantly healthy feeling.The smell of the wet earth and the muck refreshed me to my heart.
Often people talk about the GeNext girls’ way of chilling with booze and boys,I chilled-Yes,but with muck and pals(who were boys).
At home there was nobody except for the maid-servant who having made me a lunch of “khichudi” and “bhajis” couldn’t refrain from embracing this opportunity to snore away in the damp,dark afternoon.Having washed myself and had the steaming “khichudi” I took the camera and clicked photographs of the rains.To me it was too good an evening to talk about the rains in my facebook status or go on chatting aimlessly for hours with people online over a cup of coffee.It was a day I presented to myself with the best of regards.
It would be wrong if I say that I let my hair down that day or I was lost for I wasn’t lost.That day I only got back that essential bit of me which I had misplaced in the process of acquiring knowledge from books or better making an effort to make my mark sheet boast of marks not less than 85%.My childhood,my much needed innocence –I got all of it back.
I should like to say that it was a dream date with my buried desires, with myself,with the real me inside me – a gorgeous date whose effect won’t be forgotten in a hurry.
Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. ~Confucius
August 7 ,2011
Anurupa
